a trial run
Our part-time babysitter starts work. This is a trial-run for going in to the office. Just my own work. Just my own work. Not just. How to keep the self-denigrating adjectives from creeping in. Not the example I want to set for my girl.
The big question: how to merge—or at least balance—the two rhythms? The dreamy state of infant awareness: amorphous. Time fluid. Dictated by internal needs. And the other: a state controlled by external forces. Trains, buses, opening hours. Travel logistics. And deadlines. Product shipping dates. Drop-dead book dates. The chronicle of education. The upcoming merger. The exigencies of capitalism.
What could be more foreign to her?
Why do we arrived at this place in our lives—of encroaching cynicism—to start all over again? The new child is just that new. New life. Possibility for a better world. We look at her sweaty ears and see a different self—a different world. We feel, it is trite perhaps, a special kind of hope.
We witness it all over again. Now from the outside. This is how it looks. How can I travel back and forth like this?
The big question: how to merge—or at least balance—the two rhythms? The dreamy state of infant awareness: amorphous. Time fluid. Dictated by internal needs. And the other: a state controlled by external forces. Trains, buses, opening hours. Travel logistics. And deadlines. Product shipping dates. Drop-dead book dates. The chronicle of education. The upcoming merger. The exigencies of capitalism.
What could be more foreign to her?
Why do we arrived at this place in our lives—of encroaching cynicism—to start all over again? The new child is just that new. New life. Possibility for a better world. We look at her sweaty ears and see a different self—a different world. We feel, it is trite perhaps, a special kind of hope.
We witness it all over again. Now from the outside. This is how it looks. How can I travel back and forth like this?
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